life has gotten really difficult lately and it makes me sad. i know that this summer has amazing potential but so far, it pretty much sucks.
i miss my brother more than anyone can even imagine. it really is true when people say "you never know what you have til it’s gone." i’m a pretty emotional girl anyways but this is just tearing me apart. i’ve spent the past few days just moping around, trying not to cry, but failing when i’m by myself late at night.
it kinda sounds like i’m being a whiney baby but i swear i’m not. if you only knew how much pain i’m in right now. if you only knew how much it hurts me to even look at a picture of him. i can hardly ever do it without crying.
i know that God did this for a reason, but sometimes i just wish it had never happened. i know that my family and i will become better, stronger people because of this but still….not a day goes by that i don’t imagine things differently.
i have the best friends in the world, they know that i’m upset and they’re there for me, but no one can really make me feel better. i can’t feel better until this living nightmare is over. when will it end????
sorry for blurting all this out, but i’ve kept it inside for too long. i needed to get my feelings out. thanks for listening.
“As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn’t supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You’ll have your heart broken and you’ll break others’ hearts. You’ll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you’ll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you’ve never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. you just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone’s hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts. Don’t be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back.”—